The Pink Panties That Stole Christmas

Call Tyra Banks! It's time for a perverted panty party! (Oh, wait. Apparently I only have HALF of the story...)

Today, Wal-Mart pulled an item from it's shelves to appease an agenda-driven squeaky wheel. The culprit? A pair of pink panties that said, "Who needs credit cards when there's Santa?" And, while I would love to read awful, terrible, horrible things into these panties, I'm having a really hard time doing so. I mean, who DOES need credit cards when there's Santa?

For those of you unaware of the bigger picture, the "ranter" never even bothered to flip them over before causing a scene. Thus, all of this fuss has been over the words "Who needs credit cards" which carries a different meaning--especially when printed on the front of a pair of underwear. When asked about the full sentence "Who needs credit cards when there's Santa?" she decided to stick with her story, claiming that it still carried a perverse double meaning.

To translate these seven words into "adolescent girls don't need to worry about finances since they have their very own moneypot between their legs" seems like a bit of a stretch. I think the panties actually mean, "I'm young, broke, and Santa is going to hook me up." (No, not THAT kind of hook up. Get your mind out of the gutter.)

And let's be clear on something. These weren't exacty parked next to the Huggies. They were meant to catch the eyes of credit-card obsessed teenage girls making their way through the juniors section. Not the girls section. Not the toddlers section. (Hello, has anybody been watching The Hills? Those girls are ALL about credit cards. Maybe our credit-card-panty-boycotting friend should be writing letters to MTV.)

Meanwhile, in the "little boys" section, you can buy a t-shirt with Sponge Bob hanging on a hook by his ass. But it's Sponge Bob's ass. So, I guess it's okay ;)