Pimp My Kid: The House of Dereon

Remember when playing dress up consisted of fairy princesses and ballerinas? That's so 1998.

Say goodbye to dress up and hello to 'ho it up.' Why? Because all that is sweet and pure about little girls is of no concern to The House of Dereon. Their new girls line is all about accentuating creamy curves and the undeniable sex appeal of the pre-pubescent body. (Work it, girls! Give mama less 'baby face' and more 'come hither.')

I can already hear the guy in the creepy van driving by to check out little Jenny in her heels and hot pants. (Wow, Jenny. You're so gangster! If the creepy guy gets too close, you just pop a cap in his ass, baby girl.)

And how cute are those little white hooker boots? (So 'Prince meets Pretty Woman,' don't you think?!) Come to think of it, if a little boy on the playground pulls your hair, you just stick that little gold stilleto right in his elementary school ass. (Seriously, people. Hide your kids. This is just all wrong.)