In honor of "Black Friday" here in the states, I thought I would keep it sufficiently dark with something totally unrelated: Ouija Boards. When I was a kid, just the thought of being in the same room as a Ouija Board freaked me out. In fact, making contact with the spirit world ranked up there with being chased by ugly boys and cleaning the toilet (among other things). So, how does one make a young girl love the Ouija Board in 2008? Make it pink, use bubble letters, put it in a cute carrying case, and sell it at Toys-R-Us in the 8-12 year old girls section!
"It has always been mysterious. It has always been mystifying. And now the OUIJA Board is just for you, girl. With 72 fun questions included, you'll never run out of things to ask. Make up your own questions, and let the OUIJA Board satisfy your curiosity in virtually endless ways. OUIJA Board will answer. It’s just a game - or is it?" - Marketing copy for the new pink Ouija Board
Um, you'll have to excuse me, but I think I just crapped my pants (partly because I was laughing so hard, and partly because I'm a little freaked out). You know, because adolescence has so many unknowns, like “who's my BFF this week?” and “what am I going to wear to Sarah's slumber party this weekend?”
C'mon, Hasbro! What about a Sylvia Plath Ouija Board for us big girls? [Not.] On second thought, I have a better idea. How about not making Ouija Boards for pre-pubescent girls? Puberty is mysterious enough without having to worry about the occasional demon possession and getting text messages from the afterlife.
Did I mention there are fashionable Ouija Board accessories too? (Although, in all fairness, they're created for -- and sold to -- a more mature crowd.)