"Bulge Enhancing" Underwear -- Nope, Not Kidding.

Frontal Enhancing Technology? Hey baby, tell me more! Oh wait, this "technology" doesn't actually enhance the front of a man's anatomy? It's all just smoke and mirrors?? (How dare men step foot in the world of push up bras, body shapers, and butt enchancers!) Sorry boys, but women coveted this sweet spot first and we're not sharing in body fakery. At least not when it comes to "the bulge." Got it?


Thanks to Andrew Christian's new Shock Jock undwear, men of all shapes *ahem* and sizes can look like a distant relative of Ron Jeremy thanks to a built in cup that adds girth and dimension. But, like push up bras, anyone interested in getting into these bad boys will be sorely disappointed when they get a look at the actual goods. Sorry guys, but didn't anyone ever tell you that it's the motion in the ocean -- not the size of the waves -- that rocks a woman's boat? (Unless, that is, these are really intended for locker room upsizing by fellow lower decker pecker checkers.)