Hysterie Stringstola, Alexander McQueen, Emporio Armani (S/S 2011)
Sorry ladies (and gents) but the mankini isn't going anywhere. In fact, the harder we resist the trend, the more fire we blow into it's nostrils. And don't blame Borat for the banana hammock fiasco -- he was only the messenger. This eyesore predates him by a few years (think wrestling uniform meets Bavarian Lederhosen). Seriously peeps, men have been sporting Speedos for evah. Now designers are just glorifying this junk-enhancing lycra by spiffing it up a bit. You know, cut outs, neck straps, and thong-tha-thong-thong-thongs. I just have two words for men who want to put it all out there in one of these: Bikini wax. Seriously, if you're going to advertise your goods to the world, you're going to have to clean up the billboard a little. Capiche?